Betty v. Veronica: Dawn of Pegging

“Veronica Lodge is going to push Archie out of his comfort zone and transform himself in a manner that would make Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle blush. He better shape up because she needs a man and, for whatever reason, her heart is set on him. Another musical theatre reference. But even if Archie does learn to take life seriously and apply himself, he can’t change who he really is. And who he really is happens to be a boring guy who is defined less by his positive attributes but his complete lack of any, positive or negative. Mold the lump of clay however you want but it’s still clay.”

What Are Thooose on the Set of Batman v. Superman?

“If you told me Zack Snyder couldn’t tie his shoes, I’d call you a liar. And then I’d scour google to find evidence of him wearing laced shoes in order to prove you wrong. Of course, that wouldn’t necessarily prove anyone wrong because Zack Snyder is a big time director now and could easily hire someone to tie his shoes for him every day. Maybe not in the time before his salad days, back when he was making his feature debut on the solid Dawn of the Dead remake. His wife and producing partner could have conceivably tied his shoes for him in the morning before heading to set but they were not married during production of that film so we can not assume cohabitation. The point is that I think Zack Snyder can probably tie his shoes but would prefer to wear those cool slip-on Vans with the black and white checkerboard pattern.”

Crisis #7 First Timers’ Review: An Existential Crisis

“If Watchmen truly killed comics as they were then I’m glad because they needed to die. And I’m glad that guys like Frank Miller desecrated comics’ corpse and danced around in its skin (Editor’s Note: read Dark Knight Returns!). This is not a good comic by modern standards but I’m supposed to be looking at this with moderns eyes, right? Well, too bad. Its inadequacies have been revealed by time and, if I’m being fair, some of them would still be apparent if I could bleach my brain and approach it fresh.”